More about Ashley

I love the X-files but I don’t want to believe

X-files is one of my favorite shows of all time. I have watched so many hours of it and it is so interesting to me. I do get a little tired of the government conspiracies parts but overall it is a great show. I will definitely be writing a blog post about this show.

I don’t want to believe and I find the idea of it infuriating . The thought that aliens could take my fellow-man makes me so mad. LIke how dare they just hurt people in vain. I know hurting happens everyday but in most places we call that battery and assault with a side of kidnapping. I don’t want to believe that this could be true because I might busts a blood vessel from getting so angry lol

.Overall x-files is a great show and I highly recommend it to nerds. But if you are like me and get angry about alien abduction then you might have to skip a few episodes.

Click here to buy the first season on dvd from Amazon:

Click here to buy the complete series collectors addition:

Daily prompt – Finally

I am going to use this post to tell you how I finally made it.

I finally made it to happiness. All the problems in my life have been healed. I have a new smile instead of a broken mouth, I started taking mental health meds and my positive thinking is now amped up, and last but not least my precious baby little bear made it through a life threatening ordeal.

I always tried to be a happy person but now I don’t have to try anymore, I am just happy. Thank God.

via Finally

My dog Little Bear came very close to dying

Recently my dog became pregnant. Little Bear will be 11 in February and I thought she was too old to become pregnant. And it was by the smallest dog I know Facebones.

No pups came out and I belive she had a miscarriage. When I called the vet, the amount they said I would have to put down to do a C-section, well lets just way I would have to work for a month and a half without eating or electric to pay it. Even if I got the money together then there is no guarantee she would even survive the procedure and if she was dying I did not want her last minutes to be in surgery. It was rough for 2 days straight I could barely do anything and  I slept on a blow up matres next to her. I thought she was dying in my arms like 20 times. Even now I am choking back  tears to write this. It really shook me up. At work I was so worried I would come home to her lifeless body and then a miracle.

Today was the worst when I woke up little bear was really in a poor condition but I had to go to work because I had taken too much time off to be with her. I raced home when I got off and she was up for the first time in days tail waging and barking like crazy. And now the happy tears are flowing because I am so lucky. It is a blessing from god. I have such reason to count my blessing and little Bear is now at the top of that list.

I have had little Bear 10 years and maybe I will have her 10 more.

I still am in shock about her pulling through. I am so lucky to have my best friend for this extra time.

My new smile

Omg it is so amazing to have my smile back. I am a new person and it feeels so awesome. When Bill first showed me what I looked like with the new teeth in. I just cried and cried lol. I can not wait to see the vlog video they put together with the footage of my makeover.

Dark November

I have really been a negative Nancy this last month. I don’t want that to be what my blog is about. I just wanted to be honest about myself a little. But my blog is going to have some way more positive posts very soon.

Positive posts coming up –

Most negative posts from dark November

I am just so ready to have a positive outlook on life on and be working hard towards a bright future.


4 hours until I am smoke free

I am really feeling the pressure eeech. I am just not sure how this is going to go. omg I can not belive it is only 4 hours. I made the moment I quit at 12 tonight, so I am going to count it down like its New Years eve.

At first this seemed like nothing when it was a week away but know I am getting scared. I think I am not scared to quit I am just scared to feel sad but I am now on some meds that should help with that yay. I know it is going to be rough like seriously rough but I am not going to back out. You don’t quit something you have done for 14 years without a rocky phase and I am saying lets do this. It is time. My heart is beating hard and my palms are sweaty. This is going to sting a lot

Smoke Free in 5 days

I am quitting smoking in 5 days. I am using an e-cig, so really I am quitting tobacco.

I am going to write a post every day everyday talking about quitting because I really want to do it this time.

I want to live and be healthy. I want to be free from coughing and feeling like I am having a heat attack after running 2 seconds.

I am quitting smoking cigarettes

I am using an e-cig to quit smoking cigarettes on Saturday December 9th.

I have wanted to quit smoking cigarettes for so long. I have felt such shame about smoking and tried to quit so many times. Everytime I have tried to quit, I have failed miserably and then feel so down about it.

I have been smoking for 14 years. I started when I was 18 and have smoked the same amount like clockwork since I started.

I am getting a ton of help this time. I am going to meetings and using nicotine replacement therapy. And of course I am going to be using an e-cig which I think I might need forever but at a 0% level of  nicotine.

I am telling you because I read that the more you tell people you are quitting, the more your chances of succeeding go up. I am ready to do this, I am ready to be tabaco free.

I am not able to get federal school loans

I just found out I am unable to get any school loans. The reason is because I went to school to be a medical assistant and still owe school loans.

I am probably like everyone else who owes school loans. Except I still work in fast food and make about fifteen thousand a year. I heard today I still owe sixteen thousand dollars.

It has been almost ten years since this loan took a turn for the worst. I was young and stupid and should have worked towards taking care of it. I did always take care of myself and no one ever supported me financially. I just never was good with a budget

This news was just absolutely devastating to me. As you can see in the picture from yesterday I was down for a minute. I could not belive with all the interest, it is that high.

But now I have a goal and I won’t stop. I found a career in Graphic design that is perfect for me. I am going to work hard and raise whatever money I need to go back to school. It is so on like donkey kong.




I bombed at becoming a medical assistant

In 2008 I went to school to become a Medical Assistant. I struggled hard and barely graduated. But I just could not find a job in this field.

I know being bipolar and dyslexic did not help but really I just did not fit in. I am just a nerd and awkward. It is just not the career choice for me.

The school I went to ( and am not going to say the name) actually got sued for not helping people find a job.

I learned so much about the human body ans how to take care of myself or anyone that is hurt. The only down side is that I still owe school loans that are in default.

I felt so bad for so long because I never did anything with this degree but this was not the right career for me. And sometimes you have to put the past in the past. You can’t feel bad forever.

It took me almost ten years to even belive I could have a career. Now I am so excited about my new career choice Graphic designer.